Busy Busy Busy

I forget how degrading and how emotionally exhausting having a bad job can be.  It wears on you over time and seeps into every other part of your life.  So life really is so much better when you actually like going to work and you feel like you have purpose.  It's really nice.

My role at the firm I'm at is kind of changing/adapting to their needs.  Basically they're asking me to help them figure out their business and make it more efficient and financially self-sustaining.  It's kind of crazy because I have been thinking about starting my own firm at some point, then having this opportunity to learn the business end of it without personal risk is pretty freaking fantastic!  It's not going to be my whole job just 50% of my time will be dedicated to working on the business.

I am also teaching 2 classes at WashU.  Building Systems and I'm a "professional" TA for Design Thinking.  It's been a lot of work and I've been putting a ton of miles on my car but I really enjoy it.  So I'm working 6 days a week...working full time and spending at minimum of 10 hours a week in class and prepping.

I've still been doing the run/walks with Loki, last night was a pretty pathetic for both of us.  The lower inside part of my knees hurt.  Running sucks and is pretty much the worst thing ever...but I'm pretending to begin training for a mini-triathlon so I've got to stick with it for now.

Well, I'm going on a date on Saturday.  It should be interesting.  I'm not sensing a love connection but I'm keeping an open mind...regardless it's flattering to be asked out and it's practice.

Let's see what else is going on in my life - Loki is a good boy as always.  He has had a little lump on his foot appear over the last few weeks.  I don't like it so I need to take him to the vet soon.

I'm still very slowly working on Suzie and Brian's kitchen remodel.  We still have to finish dry-walling then we will put on the metal edge pieces, mud, sand, then paint.  I love that we're all just doing this without really knowing what we're doing!

Oh man I bought some Nutella at Costco this last weekend.  Bad idea.  I have consumed 1/3 of a container in the last 5 days.  On the upside I have eaten a banana every day and a bunch of raspberries.

I'm still fighting the Sons of Biznatching A-Hole mice.  I *think* that I have plugged up most of the holes in my apartment.  I am like a crazy person constantly inspecting the floors and corners of the room for little mouse turds or other signs of the red-eyed disease infested rodents from hell.

Okay, I've done enough procrastinating for tonight.  I need to work on the Building Systems lecture/class for Friday.  We're finally starting the building section...good times.

Stupid Little A-hole Sons of a Biznatch Mice!

And yet another blog I started and didn't finish...now it's a few weeks old...

There are times in life when something happens and you can't deny that it is a literal answer to your prayers and divine intervention.

Well, I just started a new job at a small design/research firm called Axi:Ome and this would be one of those times.  Although not perfect and I'm taking a significant paycut, this is an absolutely fantastic opportunity.  I'll be able to work on building up the design aspect of my portfolio.  This will allow me to search for a good teaching position somewhere...I'll write more about this later.

I had a bishop that would often say that "The Lord is involved in the details of our lives" and I would hear the words but I didn't fully believe it in my heart.  This experience was a wake-up call/kick in the face that I'm going to be okay and that the Lord is fully aware of me and what I need.



"It's amazing what you can do when you have no alternatives!" - My father's reaction to me bragging about how I disposed of a dead mouse in my apartment all by myself, without crying may I add.  Touche, Daddio.  Touche.
I have also been dealing with not only a mouse infestation but NOW a dead mouse behind my cabinets and the horrid smell of death that accompany's the decaying carcass.  This was of course after I pulled out my fridge and stove and searched for it in vain.  It is disgusting and I want to rip out my cabinets or burn my apartment down just to get rid of the smell.  It's actually kind of dissipating now, after nearly a week and my ionization/A.C. going for the last 2 days.

So I had a brilliant idea today...I'm thinking that I might look into teaching at a University and working abroad for a couple years in Europe.  Maybe Germany, the Netherlands or Scandinavia.  It's not like I have anything really tying me to St. Louis right now.  The only thing I am concerned about is Loki and how I could take him with me...I don't know how that would work or if that is feasible.

Speaking of Loki, we went on a little walk/run tonight and he did such a great job.  He is totally the perfect dog for me to run with because we run for a block, he sniffs trees, we walk for a block, then we run again for 2 houses, he poops, walk to the end of the block, run 1/2 block, he smells something that he must investigate, etc.  That's my type of running.  Very intermittent with hardly any strain at all.

Tonight, tooonight. Toniiiiiiiiight, tonight....dah dah dah.

So what shall I write about tonight...

Maybe how I have decided to try to practice architecture on my own because I don't want to continue to go from job to job being treated poorly?  (My last two bosses have been real gems!)
Maybe how I am really excited to teach Building Systems again this fall?
Maybe I could write about how much studying for and taking the ARE's suck!
I could write about the things I have learned about myself over the last couple years?
Maybe how I quit drinking soda and caffeine a couple months ago?
I could talk about how I went to the doctor last week and at the end of the appointment she said "Thank you for taking such good care of your body!" and how that was pretty funny to me because I have been putting so much negative emotional emphasis on my body that I was expecting a big lecture not a "Thank you!"
Oooo I could talk about how cute Loki is...well I could always talk about how cute he is.
Maybe I could write about how happiness is a choice and I choose to be happy.
Maybe I could write more about why working part-time is the BEST thing since...Costco was founded!

Or maybe I could just say that I am so thankful for my life and for the many blessings that I have received from Heavenly Father.  And that I am grateful that I am able to help and serve others as He needs me to.  I could also say that despite my best efforts to screw up my own life I know He has my back and is watching out for me and that no matter how bleak things may seem at times I know that things are going to be alright.

Old Update

I wrote this a couple months ago and never really finished it then didn't posted it...here you go anyways...


So working part-time is pretty much the best thing in the world, minus the drastic reduction in pay.  I have always hated going somewhere and sitting at a desk for 8+ hours 5 days a week.  I need a variety of activities to keep me from going insane.  That's one of the reasons I love architecture so much is that there is such a variety of work...and construction sites are just awesome.
I have decided to try to go out on my own as a sole practitioner and teach part time.  To me that would be ideal.

I am 2 tests down, taking SP&D on Friday.  Then I have to decide whether to continue with the ARE 4.0 and take 4 more exams or "transition" to ARE 5.0 and only take 2 more exams.  The issues are that it would be a gamble to take the new exams because the only study material available would be from NCARB which is very limited.  And there would be no community support for the exams because nobody has taken them, therefore no advice.  I could always wait for a month or so for some feedback from test takers.  Eh...I'll figure that out after the roll-out on June 29th.

Houston guy is a no go.  Eh whatever.  My father always told me to never put all of my eggs into one basket, so I'm fine.  I'm thinking that divorced guys may be the next avenue to explore.  FML.  I hate dating.

OH MY GOODNESS!  I have a new nephew!!!!!  His name is Colton Reece Brecht and he is pretty much perfect.  Dina and I went and visited Briana, Chris, and Colton a few weeks after she had him.  Ohhhh man that little bean is so freaking sweet and easy going, I already love him so much!  On a side note: child bearing, birth, and breast feeding is strange and pretty much disgusting.

Today is my mom's 66th birthday!  I am continually grateful for her and for what a good example of hard work and perseverance she displays every single day of her life.  She is tough as nails but is one of the most kind, loving, and generous people in the world.  I am so blessed that she is my mom.  I just hope that when the time comes that I will be able to help her in whatever way she will need.

HAMOC&B are leaving NYC and moving back to Maine in two days.  I think it will be great for them to be in a big house (which is beautiful!) where they have room to breathe and stretch out.  And they'll be close to Erika.

"I never met anybody that I couldn't learn from." - Henry B. Eyring
I've always loved this quote.  It reminds me that every person I encounter or work with has something to offer me.  It could be their conduct, knowledge or experience that I learn from.

Oh yeah, I finally started seeing a therapist again!  Hallelujah!  It's interesting because I have never been to an LDS therapist of counselor before.  I've only been to this guy twice but already it is so awesome because he understands my motives and background so easily.
I have struggled with depression since I was a teenager.  It sucks, but it's just something that I have learned that I have to deal with.  In some ways I am grateful for the struggles that I have had with it because it has made me a much more empathetic and sympathetic person.  Struggling with depression is something that I don't particularly advertise, but I don't hide it either if somebody asks or it arises in a conversation.  I'm not afraid of the stigma because a long time ago I had to learn that the taboo surrounding counseling or therapy stems from other people's fears that they will be judged and thought of as weak or "crazy" by their peers.
Counseling and therapy is about learning tools to keep yourself and your life in perspective.  It also helps you learn and recognize behaviors in yourself and in others and understand where they come from, which in turns makes you more compassionate and understanding.
I honestly feel that everyone, no matter how "happy" they feel they are, could benefit from seeing a counselor or therapist at some time in their life.  The world would be a much better place.

YOLO...Hahaha...WTF?!

My resolution to live with no regrets has served me well.  I have recently been able to address somethings in my life that have kept me stagnant.  Now a huge burden has been lifted off my shoulders and it is quite remarkable!


Moving on...

-I just got back from visiting my sister Briana her husband Chris and their new baby boy Colton.  Dina and I met in DC and drove down to Fredericksburg for the weekend to help out.  It was so wonderful to see how loving, amazing, and strong she is and how naturally she has embraced this new role in her life.
Oh and baby Colton is such a beautiful baby, he's the closest thing to perfection in this world.  He was so easy going and sweet.  I loved watching him startle himself, often while he was in a deep sleep he would all of a sudden flail his arms like he was startled.  So freaking cute.

Dina of course was hilarious as usual.  It's kind of funny how frustrated and annoyed we can get with each other but after about 2 minutes we're over it and laughing again.  I am so thankful that that's how my sisters and I roll.  :)


-I missed Loki.  He's such a good boy, minus the paper he tore apart.

-My next exam is on the 24th.  PP&P.  Wish me luck!

-Over Memorial Day weekend James, Adriane and I are going on  a roadtrip to Austin!

Okay I'm falling asleep.  Night night.

Ease Up there Cassie

Dude, that last blog was a total Debbie Downer.  I need to abstain from blogging when I'm feeling so introspective or self-deprecating.  Geeze.

Well to liven things up a bit here are five things that I am grateful for today:

1. Loki and his floppy ears
2. Heated seats
3. Text messaging that lets me stay in contact with my sisters - Sister Selfie Tuesday
4. Little babies, because they are magical.
5. Photoshop

Speaking of Loki and how wonderful he is, yesterday was our 6 month anniversary!  Actually, the only way I knew it was because Stray Rescue sent me an email.  Ha.  But he really is such a good boy, I am so lucky to have found him.

This is actually a professional headshot of Loki!
The photographer that was shooting our office had me bring him down.  Hahahahaha...

The Great Fortress

The other night a friend jokingly pointed out that I hate Valentine's Day and all things "romance."

Well it's kind of funny because I have been thinking about this over the last few weeks.  I've come to realize that it's not as though I hate or even dislike Valentine's Day it's that the romance that is associated with said day is kind of foreign to me.  I have been the recipient of very few romantic gestures.  I'm not saying this in a self pitying kind of way, but more as an observation.  

As time has gone on and my self-esteem has been put through the wringers I have been able to amass a great fortress around my pink little heart as a self preservation technique.  This is manifested through eye-rolling at the newly married couple that can't keep their hands off of each other or through the subtle nausea that creeps in whenever I hear my sister and brother-in-law call each other "Babe."

I am not afraid of falling in love with the "right person at the right time," what I am afraid of is that if he ever actually comes around it is going to be difficult for me to open up.  But I guess that's the name of the game as you get older, you are just one of the many emotionally stunted singles.  I try to remain positive but it's kind of hard because days, weeks, and now years are just passing.

So as much as I pretend I'm not affected by romance and crap like that, deep down I am just the same as any other girl and just wants to be just grabbed and kissed.  However, I am totally fine with never being serenaded by guy in a prince suit with a guitar.

My idea of Valentine's Day cards...do you get them?