Tonight, tooonight. Toniiiiiiiiight, tonight....dah dah dah.

So what shall I write about tonight...

Maybe how I have decided to try to practice architecture on my own because I don't want to continue to go from job to job being treated poorly?  (My last two bosses have been real gems!)
Maybe how I am really excited to teach Building Systems again this fall?
Maybe I could write about how much studying for and taking the ARE's suck!
I could write about the things I have learned about myself over the last couple years?
Maybe how I quit drinking soda and caffeine a couple months ago?
I could talk about how I went to the doctor last week and at the end of the appointment she said "Thank you for taking such good care of your body!" and how that was pretty funny to me because I have been putting so much negative emotional emphasis on my body that I was expecting a big lecture not a "Thank you!"
Oooo I could talk about how cute Loki is...well I could always talk about how cute he is.
Maybe I could write about how happiness is a choice and I choose to be happy.
Maybe I could write more about why working part-time is the BEST thing since...Costco was founded!

Or maybe I could just say that I am so thankful for my life and for the many blessings that I have received from Heavenly Father.  And that I am grateful that I am able to help and serve others as He needs me to.  I could also say that despite my best efforts to screw up my own life I know He has my back and is watching out for me and that no matter how bleak things may seem at times I know that things are going to be alright.

Old Update

I wrote this a couple months ago and never really finished it then didn't posted it...here you go anyways...


So working part-time is pretty much the best thing in the world, minus the drastic reduction in pay.  I have always hated going somewhere and sitting at a desk for 8+ hours 5 days a week.  I need a variety of activities to keep me from going insane.  That's one of the reasons I love architecture so much is that there is such a variety of work...and construction sites are just awesome.
I have decided to try to go out on my own as a sole practitioner and teach part time.  To me that would be ideal.

I am 2 tests down, taking SP&D on Friday.  Then I have to decide whether to continue with the ARE 4.0 and take 4 more exams or "transition" to ARE 5.0 and only take 2 more exams.  The issues are that it would be a gamble to take the new exams because the only study material available would be from NCARB which is very limited.  And there would be no community support for the exams because nobody has taken them, therefore no advice.  I could always wait for a month or so for some feedback from test takers.  Eh...I'll figure that out after the roll-out on June 29th.

Houston guy is a no go.  Eh whatever.  My father always told me to never put all of my eggs into one basket, so I'm fine.  I'm thinking that divorced guys may be the next avenue to explore.  FML.  I hate dating.

OH MY GOODNESS!  I have a new nephew!!!!!  His name is Colton Reece Brecht and he is pretty much perfect.  Dina and I went and visited Briana, Chris, and Colton a few weeks after she had him.  Ohhhh man that little bean is so freaking sweet and easy going, I already love him so much!  On a side note: child bearing, birth, and breast feeding is strange and pretty much disgusting.

Today is my mom's 66th birthday!  I am continually grateful for her and for what a good example of hard work and perseverance she displays every single day of her life.  She is tough as nails but is one of the most kind, loving, and generous people in the world.  I am so blessed that she is my mom.  I just hope that when the time comes that I will be able to help her in whatever way she will need.

HAMOC&B are leaving NYC and moving back to Maine in two days.  I think it will be great for them to be in a big house (which is beautiful!) where they have room to breathe and stretch out.  And they'll be close to Erika.

"I never met anybody that I couldn't learn from." - Henry B. Eyring
I've always loved this quote.  It reminds me that every person I encounter or work with has something to offer me.  It could be their conduct, knowledge or experience that I learn from.

Oh yeah, I finally started seeing a therapist again!  Hallelujah!  It's interesting because I have never been to an LDS therapist of counselor before.  I've only been to this guy twice but already it is so awesome because he understands my motives and background so easily.
I have struggled with depression since I was a teenager.  It sucks, but it's just something that I have learned that I have to deal with.  In some ways I am grateful for the struggles that I have had with it because it has made me a much more empathetic and sympathetic person.  Struggling with depression is something that I don't particularly advertise, but I don't hide it either if somebody asks or it arises in a conversation.  I'm not afraid of the stigma because a long time ago I had to learn that the taboo surrounding counseling or therapy stems from other people's fears that they will be judged and thought of as weak or "crazy" by their peers.
Counseling and therapy is about learning tools to keep yourself and your life in perspective.  It also helps you learn and recognize behaviors in yourself and in others and understand where they come from, which in turns makes you more compassionate and understanding.
I honestly feel that everyone, no matter how "happy" they feel they are, could benefit from seeing a counselor or therapist at some time in their life.  The world would be a much better place.

YOLO...Hahaha...WTF?!

My resolution to live with no regrets has served me well.  I have recently been able to address somethings in my life that have kept me stagnant.  Now a huge burden has been lifted off my shoulders and it is quite remarkable!


Moving on...

-I just got back from visiting my sister Briana her husband Chris and their new baby boy Colton.  Dina and I met in DC and drove down to Fredericksburg for the weekend to help out.  It was so wonderful to see how loving, amazing, and strong she is and how naturally she has embraced this new role in her life.
Oh and baby Colton is such a beautiful baby, he's the closest thing to perfection in this world.  He was so easy going and sweet.  I loved watching him startle himself, often while he was in a deep sleep he would all of a sudden flail his arms like he was startled.  So freaking cute.

Dina of course was hilarious as usual.  It's kind of funny how frustrated and annoyed we can get with each other but after about 2 minutes we're over it and laughing again.  I am so thankful that that's how my sisters and I roll.  :)


-I missed Loki.  He's such a good boy, minus the paper he tore apart.

-My next exam is on the 24th.  PP&P.  Wish me luck!

-Over Memorial Day weekend James, Adriane and I are going on  a roadtrip to Austin!

Okay I'm falling asleep.  Night night.

Ease Up there Cassie

Dude, that last blog was a total Debbie Downer.  I need to abstain from blogging when I'm feeling so introspective or self-deprecating.  Geeze.

Well to liven things up a bit here are five things that I am grateful for today:

1. Loki and his floppy ears
2. Heated seats
3. Text messaging that lets me stay in contact with my sisters - Sister Selfie Tuesday
4. Little babies, because they are magical.
5. Photoshop

Speaking of Loki and how wonderful he is, yesterday was our 6 month anniversary!  Actually, the only way I knew it was because Stray Rescue sent me an email.  Ha.  But he really is such a good boy, I am so lucky to have found him.

This is actually a professional headshot of Loki!
The photographer that was shooting our office had me bring him down.  Hahahahaha...

The Great Fortress

The other night a friend jokingly pointed out that I hate Valentine's Day and all things "romance."

Well it's kind of funny because I have been thinking about this over the last few weeks.  I've come to realize that it's not as though I hate or even dislike Valentine's Day it's that the romance that is associated with said day is kind of foreign to me.  I have been the recipient of very few romantic gestures.  I'm not saying this in a self pitying kind of way, but more as an observation.  

As time has gone on and my self-esteem has been put through the wringers I have been able to amass a great fortress around my pink little heart as a self preservation technique.  This is manifested through eye-rolling at the newly married couple that can't keep their hands off of each other or through the subtle nausea that creeps in whenever I hear my sister and brother-in-law call each other "Babe."

I am not afraid of falling in love with the "right person at the right time," what I am afraid of is that if he ever actually comes around it is going to be difficult for me to open up.  But I guess that's the name of the game as you get older, you are just one of the many emotionally stunted singles.  I try to remain positive but it's kind of hard because days, weeks, and now years are just passing.

So as much as I pretend I'm not affected by romance and crap like that, deep down I am just the same as any other girl and just wants to be just grabbed and kissed.  However, I am totally fine with never being serenaded by guy in a prince suit with a guitar.

My idea of Valentine's Day cards...do you get them?

Look who figured out she could sew a little!

I was referring to myself.
It was actually not very hard, considering that with my training and profession I tend to be fairly decent with spatial puzzles and patterns.  For whatever reason I still cannot sew a straight line but I did figure out how to make Loki's costume work.

Here are the results:

I took Loki in his costume to my ward's Halloween Trunk or Treat, not really thinking about the logistics of the operation.  Well I got there and didn't quite realize that there were a bunch of activities indoors prior to the Trunk or Treating outdoors.  So I skittishly decided to take him into the gym with me.  Usually I don't care what people think about me or my decisions but I think a combination of the beginnings of getting sick and being uber aware of my marital status made me became so self conscious.  I felt so out of place and stupid sitting there like the token single woman who treats her animals like pseudo children, by dressing them up and taking them to family holiday events.  I didn't quite realize how pathetic it was until then, so I had a little pity party for myself.  But what actually made me feel better was later seeing Tom come into the party wearing his endearingly dorky Chewbacca robe with his full on hairy legs and face.  Even though we only talked for a couple minutes he made me feel a lot less stupid for getting into the spirit of Halloween and making my dog a nintendo character, which in hindsight is one of the dorkiest things I have done.

I didn't end up taking Loki to the CWE dog parade because I was feeling really crappy, instead I went home and slept...maybe next year.

Halloween is the Most Wonderful Time of the Year!

Growing up, Halloween was a big deal for our family.  Over the years my mom collected costumes, wigs, makeup, costume jewelry, and all sorts of accessories that she would have my dad lug out from the basement or attic every year.  I still remember the smell of old and dank polyester mixed with hard plastic that would permeate the room where we unloaded and sorted through the treasure chest of awesomeness.  Often times (by our fathers persuasion) we would choose to be something scary or un-dead, I think I was a dead cheerleader at least twice before the age of 10.  If we wanted to be something that we didn't have a costume for my mother, being the amazing seamstress that she is, would just whip up a new one.  And no costume was ever complete without the full hair and makeup and the fake blood that my dad would always voluntarily apply.

When we moved to our new house we started decorating more elaborately and creating spooky and haunted environments for trick or treating.  One year we had a stuffed guy hanging from the roof with an orange glowing pumpkin head, half of a body sticking out of the pond, and a strobe light.  This was of course in addition to the regular scary music, black light, and insane amount of webs.  For quite a few years after we were too old to trick or treat, Briana or I would dress up in a sheet and mask and sit on top of the stone fence and scare the crap out of people.  Those were good times.

Most people/women have boxes of Christmas decorations, well as an adult I have a box of Halloween decorations and no Christmas decorations.

So Halloween is pretty much my favorite holiday and needless to say I am making Loki a costume...because I am super dorky like that...and my friend Jessica is letting me borrow her sewing machine while she is away.  Even though I don't sew and have only used a sewing machine a half dozen times in my life I figure it can't be THAT hard to figure out how to sew some felt together.  (Famous last words, I know.)

I began to brainstorm.  I know I wanted to make something unique because why go to all the effort if it is just going to be lame?
I began sketching.
Maybe I should turn him into a little stegosaurus?

Not quite feeling it.
Maybe a mummy?

Nah...lame.
I got it!  YOSHI!!!!!!!!

He is going to be the cutest Yoshi at the CWE doggy Halloween parade this year!