Halloween is the Most Wonderful Time of the Year!

Growing up, Halloween was a big deal for our family.  Over the years my mom collected costumes, wigs, makeup, costume jewelry, and all sorts of accessories that she would have my dad lug out from the basement or attic every year.  I still remember the smell of old and dank polyester mixed with hard plastic that would permeate the room where we unloaded and sorted through the treasure chest of awesomeness.  Often times (by our fathers persuasion) we would choose to be something scary or un-dead, I think I was a dead cheerleader at least twice before the age of 10.  If we wanted to be something that we didn't have a costume for my mother, being the amazing seamstress that she is, would just whip up a new one.  And no costume was ever complete without the full hair and makeup and the fake blood that my dad would always voluntarily apply.

When we moved to our new house we started decorating more elaborately and creating spooky and haunted environments for trick or treating.  One year we had a stuffed guy hanging from the roof with an orange glowing pumpkin head, half of a body sticking out of the pond, and a strobe light.  This was of course in addition to the regular scary music, black light, and insane amount of webs.  For quite a few years after we were too old to trick or treat, Briana or I would dress up in a sheet and mask and sit on top of the stone fence and scare the crap out of people.  Those were good times.

Most people/women have boxes of Christmas decorations, well as an adult I have a box of Halloween decorations and no Christmas decorations.

So Halloween is pretty much my favorite holiday and needless to say I am making Loki a costume...because I am super dorky like that...and my friend Jessica is letting me borrow her sewing machine while she is away.  Even though I don't sew and have only used a sewing machine a half dozen times in my life I figure it can't be THAT hard to figure out how to sew some felt together.  (Famous last words, I know.)

I began to brainstorm.  I know I wanted to make something unique because why go to all the effort if it is just going to be lame?
I began sketching.
Maybe I should turn him into a little stegosaurus?

Not quite feeling it.
Maybe a mummy?

Nah...lame.
I got it!  YOSHI!!!!!!!!

He is going to be the cutest Yoshi at the CWE doggy Halloween parade this year!

Gratitude for Loki

So yeah...I got laid off a few weeks ago.  Yes it sucks.  It could be worse; I could have been kicked in the face with a golf shoe.  (I love saying that.)  But unfortunately that is the risk you always take when working for a small firm.  When the work doesn't come in you have a very limited float time before you have to layoff employees.  And that's what happened.  (Oh and my old coworkers are total douche bags with no social/human skills, which is a story for another post.)


As silly as it may sound I really feel having Loki has helped me not freak out and go into a depressive funk which I am prone to do in situations like this.

1. He has helped me stay on a normal sleeping schedule.
2. He gets me out of the house to take him on walks or to the dog park.
3. I'm a natural caretaker so being able to take care of somebody has been nice.
4. Having a little canine companion helps me feel not so lonely.
5. I feel safer with him here.  He's my little bodyguard.
6. And man, having him be so excited when I come home makes his special $60/bag food so worth it.


I am just sitting here listening to him snore on his bed (which I bring into my room every night) and it makes me smile.  Sometimes his mouth will be positioned in such a way that when he exhales as he sleeps his jowls will flap...and that absolutely kills me!

He was helping me prep for class.

One thing that I love about dogs are their
sometimes different color toes.

This was a couple weeks after I got him...he was
very curious about what was in the tall black
thing he couldn't see through.

Having fun at the dog park.
Yes that man is a pirate.

He often lays in this sophisticated manner.

I found out that he really likes top ramen.
I was stepping on tiny noodles for days!
The next week he ate 18 granola bars...
Houdini even got them out of their wrappers! 

He really loves to just be outside.

Half of his food always ends up behind his bowl.

What I see every morning.

As far as what I am going to do next or what I am going to do with my life...hell, if I know.  I am taking my exams...FINALLY!  I am going to keep networking and trying to find a job.  I was thinking about seeing if I could teach full time, but the pay is not very good.  I don't know.  Lately it seems as though whenever I come up with a plan or idea Heavenly Father is like......."Nope, it's not going to go like that Cassandra."  And then I'm back to floundering and wondering what in the crap I'm doing here.  Maybe I should just sell my soul again and work at a corporate firm.  At least that way I'll have a little bit better job security, a somewhat decent paycheck...but then I most likely wouldn't be able to teach or take Loki to work with me or be able to sleep at night.  Ugh.  This sucks.

Wish me luck in trying to figure out this thing we refer to as life.

Thoughts and Things

- St. Louis drivers are horrible.  I don't think anybody knows how to properly merge, keep their foot on the gas while driving on the highway, or even how four way stops work.

- I went to a new dentist on Monday, Dr. Gregoire in Clayton.  I picked her because she had great reviews and didn't look like a pedophile like the other dentists that were on my insurance.  I absolutely loved her!  So funny, blunt and just overall awesome.  Oh dental update: my preventative care was great I only had a small amount of calculus, both Dr. Gregoire and the hygenist were impressed that I never had braces.  I have one cavity, which is better than I thought since I always expect the worst case scenario whenever I go.  She did tell me that I should cut back on soda and acidic foods because my enamel is thinner than she would like, which I already knew (damn grad school diet).  So I'm going back the first week of October.

- Loki is absolutely wonderful.  I am so thankful for him.  He seriously makes me happy which is something that I have really needed since I've been hopelessly trying to get over this guy for the last however many ridiculous amount of months.  Actually for a long time I think I was afraid that if I were to get a dog that it would just be a way for me to pacify my desire to be in a relationship or married.  Well, I'm over that now.  Of course I still want to be married and have a family but having Loki makes me look forward to coming home!  And seriously, seeing his sweet little face in the side mirror of my car and his jowls flapping in the wind makes me smile all the way to the core.
He is now 73 lbs. but he still needs to gain a few more pounds.  Last week I spoke with the vet about some concerns that I had and I think I'm going to take him up on his offer to excise some of Loki's overgrown gingival tissue because I think it is effecting his ability to chew.  While he's out I think his du-claws need to come off because he continually licks them and take x-rays of his hips to see if his odd walk is from his hips/arthritis or a leg injury.

So far Loki doesn't like: French fries, tortilla chips, one dog at the doggie park, and snuggling.
So far Loki likes: sugar cookies, bowls of frosting, bowls of chocolate, laying spread eagle on cold concrete floors, sticking his head out of the car window, the doggie park, and sorting through the recycling all over the kitchen floor.

- Work is still lame.  My boss burned his bridge with me a couple months back so I am still looking for a new job which in my field takes time.  I have to take my exams for real.  It will grant me a lot more freedom...if nothing else emotional freedom.

- The SA conference is finally over!  It was horrible.  But I swallowed my pride, grinned, and barred all of the awkwardness, bizarre tifs, and gross food.  I tried to make the day that we were in charge of the best that it could be and thankfully we pulled it off with a lot of help from the wonderful people in the Lindell ward!  Seriously I couldn't have done it without all of the people that stepped up to help me out as a personal favor.

- Building Systems starts Friday.  I am so excited because I love teaching and I love WashU.  The first lab groups are all grad students then the second lab groups are undergrads (some of them are my old students from studio last year, so it's going to be fun!)  I'm also excited because this is a technical course and I love to exercise that part of my brain.  Teaching makes me happy.

- I have had the windows in my apartment open for the last week because the weather has been incredible!  I hate summer and the heat so I have been absolutely loving this.  My zinnias are still blooming and are beautiful but the snap dragons haven't bloomed yet.  I'm kind of thinking that they're not going to before the weather turns.

- I bore my testimony in sacrament meeting a couple weeks ago for the first time in years.  My good friend Lydia stood up and said some very nice things that touched me.  I really am so grateful for all of the friendships that I have been making with people in my ward.  Even though I'm a creepy single spinster that trades gum for hugs at church people have been very open, loving, and welcoming towards me.  It's made dealing with other things in my life easier.

- I finally got released as the Young Women's President!  Hallelujah!  I really didn't enjoy that calling, but I did it because I was asked to.  Well there were a few things that were good.  So for the time being I only have one church calling which is the Stake Single Adult Co-Chair, but I anticipate taking over the mid-singles FHE group again.

- Oh yeah, my lovely P&P ladies made me watch Anne of Green Gables.  Anne is obnoxious but only slightly endearingly so.  Who knows what else they're going to make me watch next...something that will make me roll my eyes every five minutes, I'm sure.  But I won't care too much because I get to spend time with these friends and eat a lot of delicious food!

- IKEA opens in a couple of weeks!  Wahoo!  I want to get some table legs for a long slab of wood I got from my boss a while back.  I want to make a tall desk/worktable in my guest/second/Dina's/my Dad's room.

- I need to go visit HAMOC&B.  I miss them so much.  I talked to my BFF Clio for 30 minutes the other night and I promised that I would snapchat with her more often.  She seriously kills me.

- I need to call my wonderful friend Renee and see how she's doing...I wonder if she's on kid #4 yet...

- AWOLNATION is pretty good.  I love the song Hollow Moon.


I think this is good enough for an update.

Loki

Meet Loki.  He is pretty much the sweetest and most well-behaved dog ever.

Loki joined my family August 8, 2015 by way of Stray Rescue of St. Louis.

At the shelter he was given the name Archer, but it didn't quite fit him.  I decided that he needed a new name with this new chapter in his life.  I tend to like unique names so I when I was brain storming with my mom and sister I was throwing out scandinavian and nordic names.  Then my sister remarked how he was going to be brothers with her dogs, Bowser-Thor and Boston-Yoda.  I then immediately thought of the Norwegian mythological character Thor (whom Bowser-Thor was named after) and that his mischievous brother is named Loki.  Perfect.  Although people will probably think that I have jumped on the Marvel Comics train and named him after the movies.  Oh well, like I really care what other people think.

Loki has had some health issues associated with being on the street so right now I am focused on helping his stomach ulcers heal and get him to a healthy weight.  The vet wants him to gain at least another 15 lbs, so he's going to be a big boy!

I already love him so much...this is going to be good.

The Defender

So my friend Chantal often times refers to personality types when speaking about people.  99% of the time it would go right over my head because I have not cared to research or learn about them.  Mainly I am not really into the idea of classifying people or categorizing something that is in constant flux, but that's beside the point.  So after the nth time of her referring to a personality type I finally decide to take one and find out how I would be categorized.  Well it turns out that I am...

As I was reading the description of what each category meant I kept thinking "Holy crap, that is totally me!"  There were a few things in the larger synopsis that didn't quite jive with my personality or with what I believe, but all in all I'd say I was put into a category quite well!

4th of July Weekend: Part 1

Last week my friend Peter from grad school came into town to kick off our epic 4th of July weekend extravaganza.  He has been such a solid and good friend since 317 - first semester studio (aka boot camp) with Catalina.

Disclaimer: I am fully aware that my maturity level dropped a good 15 years as soon as Peter's plane landed and has only begun to creep back up to my normal immaturity level.

So when I picked him up from the airport on Wednesday night I was first taken back by how mature he looked, I think the beard makes him look about 18 now instead of 14.

After a huge and proper bear hug we ate at Pi on the Loop, where I proceeded to make an ass of myself by playfully harassing the waiter whose, as we later discovered, was his first day on the job.  So even though he was terrible, a generous tip was left.  It was so nice to talk and laugh about everything under the moon.  We went back to Hotel Cassie where, as always, a mint was found on his pillow and we talked more.

The next morning I took him to my office and showed him around.  As expected from socially inept people none of my co-workers engaged him in any sort of conversation.  My boss barely slowed down enough to shake his hand as he was walking by.  I then dropped Peter off at the metro stop and worked for 1/2 a day while he went up to the WashU campus and relived some of the glory days.  Afterwards we proceeded to Pappy's where we indulged our glutenous side by eating some of the best BBQ St. Louis has to offer.  We were both pretty tired so we decided to go back to Hotel Cassie and relax.  We watched a couple episodes of Peter's favorite show, Friends, and both ended up falling asleep at some point.  Post nap we freshened up for the evening and went to our old pastime Mr. Wizards where our super dorky architecture side manifested as we drew diagrams of apartments that we lived in as well as a breakdown of our school time.

We then met up with Jen & Ryan and Stitleman for drinks at Sasha's in Demun, or two diet cokes for me.  Jen and Ryan are good people, I really like them.  Jen gave me a pep talk and encouraged me to get out of my current job, it was something that I really needed to hear.  Stitleman just kills me.  He's of course wonderful and nice to me even when I tell him he looks like a leprechaun.  Unfortunately the lovely Allison had to work late but this gave me the opportunity to pry out his plans to propose.  Which has subsequently happened.

Sasha's in Demun 

Keeping it classy at Mr. Wizards

Our conversational diagrams

The next morning we got ready and went to Winslow's for breakfast.  I only went there once or twice when I was in school, mainly because all of the "cool kids" would go there so that automatically meant that I would avoid it.  It's the same reason I hated Boston for years, no logical reason, it was just the fact that nearly every single person from Boston would say that it's the greatest city in the world.  (Sidenote: I actually went there...I don't hate it anymore.)

Winslow's 

 We then headed up to Chicago to begin the epic 4th of July Weekend.

-End Part 1-

Gross, Gross, and More Gross

I try not to write blogs when I am upset or frustrated but judging from the last blog and now this one I'm not doing so well at that resolve.

As previously mentioned through the encouragement of others I joined match.com.  And through the encouragement of others I have stayed on (my bishop even thought it was a great idea) despite my hesitation.  Trying to keep an open mind and optimistic attitude about things I have interacted with a few people.  The most recent one reminded me of a couple of my college friends; musician (guitar, bass, drums), likes music, kind of geeky, has a sense of humor, and seemed to have a strong spiritual side although not currently part of an organized religion.  So I'm going to ignore the poor grammar and a few of the super geeky pictures and thought to myself "okay this might be an okay pool to stick my toe in."  So I trepidatiously gave him my number.
First night I get a little cute and complimentary message.  So far so good.
Later that night he sends me a selfie from the shoulders up.  Kind of strange...I ignore it and ask him about his work and music.
The next night I'm sitting enjoying some conversation with some friends when I receive another message from the guy.  This time I get a full body shot of him in gym shorts...with a hard-on.  Yes, he was pitching a tent.  WHAT THE HELL?!?!  I was so disturbed and sat there for a good 10 minutes completely and utterly shocked.
Where in the deep dark crevices of your grey matter did you think that sending me that picture was a good idea?  Were you dropped on your head a lot as a child?  Did your apartment have lead based paint?  Seriously I don't know what half self-respecting woman would see that photograph and think "Hey, that's hot" or "You look as though you are somebody that would treat me with respect."
No.
Hells no.

Yes, I may say a lot of shocking things but 99% of it is for my entertainment and the shock value that I receive.  When it comes down to it I am a very reserved and moral person.  That kind of disgusting behavior doesn't fly with me.

So whatever, this dating crap is horrible.  I hate the game.  I hate hate hate it.
I'm officially taking a break.